Jon Deer Letter

Deer Roper,
I is wroting you this ledder to let yall no that our marrege is over. I no you wearnt spectin this change off evants, but sometimes life throwes a buncha lemons at ya and ya godda do tehkeela shots. Ferst of, let me tell you what yall mean to me.A lot. I am glad you wear the father of two of my kids and the uncel to ones of them.You been so gude to us.I preciate ya setin us up in this grate big traler. from the momant you bedazled my trackin' devise braclet, I new you wear allways gona treet me good.Butt unfourchunettly i finded some one new.It starded about a mounth aggo. I went to viset your daddy, Uncel Carberater while he was rentin a room at the jale. He aint be their so i was talcin to his sons frends exwifes boyfrend, you no him they call him SkarToof cuz he gots that grate big scar on hims one tuthe. he told me that he had just scene you at the moovy theeader with some girl and i new that cant be write becase like i says you were posed to be at the basebal game. I says no no skartoof he aint be their becus he is gown away.he says he new it wear you becus you had on that limeted editun gunns enrozes windbraker that i stole MYSELF for you. Skartoof told me that he was purty shore that the lady you was with aint your sister becos you were kisin her like she was on deth row. i was cryin then he was cryin cus it turnd out that the lady u was with was skartoofs momma and he aint even rekignised her cus she lossed 200 pownds from the last time he'd scene her and he was sad becos he new his momma was brakin her howse arest by bein at the theader and she was gona get scent back to jale for brakin the law and if she did go back to jale he was gona have to find a job to pay fur rent to his landslord-witch we all no is skartoofs dady's sisster Butchie. Butchie chargs a lott for rents and she aint two kean on it bean late. Skartoof cant take the presher.
I mad that you was cheetin on me with skartoofs momma. Butt I fourgive ya cos i fear ckrist. BUTT i am moore mad that you were with skartoofs momma cus she anet even all their mentilly! now youve brocken up there Hole famelly. it be reel sad when a good famelly like that be turn apart by somewon like you who shoud no beter!!!
Our marigge is over.I taken the kids. And the dawgs. ANd my moma's nutria pelts.Even thow you wear her faferitt neffew she wood want me to have em. you can viset the kids whenever you want. I is sorry it had to be like this.Butt in the internal words of somebuddy, I am "two liget. Two iget to quite." ANd i quite this mariege for ligetment reesans. your soontobe Xedwife
Gurdie